Winston Churchill used to say he was chased by the “black dog,” depression. It chased him his whole life and he ran, mostly successfully, from it his whole life. Sometimes, when the “black dog” felt particularly close, Winston would sometimes go off to Morocco and paint, drink and think and probably write. He wrote more than Dickens and Shakespeare combined.
He may well have been a manic-depressive. During the war he was followed around by his personal physician, Lord Moran, who prescribed upper and downers to manage the moods of the great man.
He was black dogged by depression and I was thinking about that last night as I rode home on the train, black dogged myself. I had gone down to the city yesterday, had a full day of appointments and when I stepped on the train last night I was exhausted and felt the old black dog nipping at my heels.
When I got home, I went to bed almost immediately and fell asleep early watching an episode of “Doc Martin,” about an English doctor only marginally more cranky than I was last night.
When the morning broke, I was my usual sunny self and, while sipping tea, worked on next week’s lectures. The day was spent on that and the Saturday chores. Young Nick was here and we did things that needed to be done, mounting a light fixture, cleaning, sorting, rearranging, bringing in wood and dealing with the trash. The things we do on Saturday.
Going down to the Dot, I welcomed Alana back from three weeks in Costa Rica and then, after an omelet and a Bloody Mary, came home to write my letter, which often is one of the most pleasurable times in the day.
Turning on the floodlights so the creek is illuminated, I sorted through the last couple of days.
The rise of Trump has been a constant cause for conversation though as I returned home, I discovered Ted Cruz had won the Kansas caucuses and he is at least as frightening to me as Trump. Both of them seem to me to be wack-a-doodles from some other dimension. This earns me no points with my conservative friends but it’s true; it’s how I feel.
Caitlin Jenner wants to be Ted Cruz’s “trans ambassador.” I am not sure he’s interested in having one.
Popular comedian Louis CK has implored his fans not to vote for Trump, likening him to Hitler. Trump, not necessarily looking to support Louis CK’s view of him, announced he would increase the use of torture if he were President.
“Downtown Abbey” ends tomorrow night. I have already seen the last episode as I subscribed to the feed through iTunes. Let’s tip a hat to Alistair Bruce, who was in charge of making sure it was historically accurate. He did a magnificent job.
A fire is burning in the stove; I’ve rearranged some lights in the house. I like the effect as I sit here at the dining room table, the creek lit in front of me, jazz playing and my thoughts running.
Four nuns and twelve others were killed in Yemen during an attack. Gunmen entered the building, handcuffed the victims and then shot them. It’s not yet clear who carried out the attack. The Pope has decried it; the nuns were members of the order founded by Mother Theresa.
Boko Haram, the scourge of Nigeria, is suffering from a food crisis. With all the people who have fled them, no is left to grow crops or herd animals and they are beginning to starve. Hungry and desperate, they are ruthlessly raiding which, I suspect, will only increase the cycle they have created.
And in my cycle, I am going to sign off for tonight. I need to be up in the morning, work on my lectures and then to church. I signed up to do coffee hour on Easter Sunday, not quite realizing that it was a major, major thing and I am now expected to come up with something quite spectacular. Cookbooks are out. Recipes are being reconnoitered.
I have a meeting about this tomorrow at 12:30. I think I may have over stretched and I will rise to the challenge.
Letter From New York 03 24 2016 From where we were to where we are…
March 25, 2016Darkness has descended on the Hudson Valley; it is pitch black outside though I am heartened everyday by the weather person’s announcement we had three or so more minutes of daylight today than yesterday.
I’ve adjusted the timers on lights to accommodate the increasing daylight. I rejoice as I am sure everyone does.
My dining room table is scattered with recipes from which I will choose the ones being made for Easter. I am getting it organized. I bought upgraded plastic silverware for Sunday. Since I am doing this, I want it to be a little special — or a lot special.
In the morning I will winnow down the recipes and head out to do my shopping. My friend Robert has given me eight dozen eggs from the chickens who live at his house down in Rhinebeck. I had some for lunch. There is nothing like farm fresh eggs!
While I am typing this, Christ Church is celebrating Maundy Thursday and I wasn’t feeling very churchy tonight so I didn’t go.
Probably feeling more churchy than I do, or at least one would hope so, is Radovan Karadzic, the former Serb leader who was convicted today of genocide during the horrific Serbian conflict twenty-one years ago. Eight thousand Muslim men and boys were slaughtered in a town called Srebrenica. Justice finally has been done though it will not bring back those men and boys whose only crime was that they were born Muslim.
At the time, when it was revealed, I felt horror and I feel it today. There was a time when such things happened to Christians; indeed, they are happening today to Christians at the hands of IS. It is things like Srebrenica that make IS feel justified.
It’s been a happy day for me, feeling far from all the world’s troubles, tooling around Columbia County, collecting mail, a couple of meetings with organizations I am volunteering with, a haircut, bumping into people on the street and having a good conversation with them.
While I was doing those fun things, the police in Paris foiled an alleged terror attack in advanced stages. Obama apologized in Argentina for some of our policies and actions during their long and very dirty internal war. I suspect we turned too blind an eye to some things.
Belgium and Europe in general are struggling to balance freedom and safety in the fight against terrorist attacks.
In America, Ted Cruz and Donald Trump are exploiting our fears in their campaigns; loudly criticized and, I think, rightly so, by Obama. And I think by Hillary and Bernie, too.
Syrian troops loyal to Assad are in the suburbs of Palmyra in the early stages of reclaiming the city from IS, which has this year lost 21% of the territory it controlled. The monuments destroyed are gone and it will be good if the city can be liberated. It has suffered terribly.
At the same time, Iraqi troops are advancing into Mosul, using lessons from the recapture of Ramadi to help them win back this important Iraqi city. Many of the historical treasures there are gone also, never to be seen again.
I do not live in their mindset and cannot come close to comprehending why it was necessary for them to destroy the heritage of the planet. But they did. It ranks up there with the killings at Srebrenica. Maybe it doesn’t. At Srebrenica those were living beings that were destroyed. At Palmyra and Mosul, it was the artifacts of the past that helped create the world in which we now live.
There are echoes of that world here in the cottage. I have treasured artifacts from the past and things that echo them. Someday, when I am gone, all this will be scattered, some thrown away but in the time they have had with me I have been grateful for their presence.
There is a small collection of masks, a recreation of a bust of Athena from Greece, a painting from India that evokes Alexander, a Renoir re-strike, a wonderful painting from a Provincetown gallery of Alexander.
We need the past to build the future, to connect ourselves from where we were to where we are going.
Tags:Alexander the Great, Assad, Christ Church, Christ Church Episcopal, Claverack, Columbia County, Donald Trump, Easter, Hillary Clinton, Hudson, Iraq, IS, Mat Tombers, Mathew Tombers, Mosul, Obama, Palmyra, Radovan Karadzic, Srebrenica, Syria, Ted Cruz, The Donald
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